“You ever notice how Minnesotans will politely decline the last piece of pizza for three hours, but give them a chance to name a government vehicle, and they turn into absolute savages?
The 2025 Snowplow Roster
“You hear the news? They just dropped the 2025 snowplow roster. Governor Walz was out there announcing them personally, looking like a proud dad at a science fair. As your friendly neighborhood real estate agent and guy who reads way too many government press releases (and wrote an exhaustive analysis on this very topic), I have to say: Minnesota really outdid itself this year.”
We had 23,000 voters cast ballots this winter. That’s fewer than the peak COVID years, but the quality? The quality is elite. Here is the official MN by JZ breakdown of the Class of 2025.
1. The Headliner: Anthony Sledwards
“We have to start here. This is the crown jewel.
If you’ve been watching the Timberwolves, you know Anthony Edwards is the most electric thing to happen to Minnesota sports since the ’91 World Series. The man is a quote machine, an athletic freak, and basically the King of the North right now.
When you see that plow on I-35W, just remember: Send da plow.
2. The 2025 Winners Circle
“The rest of the lineup is solid gold. Here’s who will be clearing your driveway’s berm this year:”
- Plowabunga! (District 6):
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reference. Classic. - Snowtorious B.I.G. (District 4):
Because ‘Mo Money Mo Problems’ applies to snow removal budgets, too. - Skol Plow (District 1):
Simple. Effective. A chant you can scream while shoveling. - We’re Off To See The Blizzard (District 8):
A little Wizard of Oz flair for the Southwest corner. - I Came, I Thaw, I Conquered (District 7):
A Latin pun (Veni, Vidi, Vici)? We are getting educated in this state. - Don’tcha Snow (District 3):
Phonetically perfect Minnesotan. - You’re Welcome (District 2):
This is my favorite. It’s a Moana reference, sure, but it’s also just a sassy message from the plow driver. ‘You’re Welcome.’
3. The ‘Graveyard’ of Greatness
“Pour one out for the finalists that didn’t make the cut. The competition was brutal this year:”
- 867-530 Brine (A tragedy this didn’t win).
- Chilly Eilish (The Gen Z vote was split).
- Salt Me Baby One More Time.
- Catch My Drift.
- Austin Plowers (Yeah baby, yeah… or not).
4. The “Sobering” Truth
“Jokes aside—and I say this as a guy who takes his C2EX commitment to excellence seriously—this program does real work. Naming the plow Snowtorious B.I.G. makes you look twice. And if you look twice, you don’t crash into it.”
The Bottom Line: If you see Anthony Sledwards out there, give him room to work.
And hey, if the snow finally breaks you and you decide to move to a condo with heated underground parking… I know a guy.
I was reading this massive report on MnDOT’s ‘Name a Snowplow’ program—officially titled ‘The Anthropomorphism of Civic Infrastructure,’ which sounds like a college course I definitely would have skipped. But honestly? It’s genius.
As a guy who spends half his life navigating real estate contracts and the other half navigating drink orders, I respect a good system. I’ve got my RENE, SRS, ABR, and C2EX designations, so I know a thing or two about negotiations and strict guidelines—but MnDOT might actually have me beat on the vetting process.
Here’s the ‘Executive Jokester’ breakdown of how we turned 800 orange trucks into state celebrities.”
1. The Origin Story (We Stole It from the Scots)
“First off, we can’t take full credit. The British started this ages ago in Scotland. They call their salt spreaders ‘Gritters’ and gave them names like Sir Salter Scott and Gritney Spears.
MnDOT saw that, looked at the depressing COVID winter of 2020, and said, ‘You know what Minnesota needs? A plow named Plowy McPlowFace.’ And they were right. It wasn’t just a joke; it was a way to make us actually care about the machines keeping us alive on 35W.”
2. The Rules: Stricter Than a Bouncer on a Saturday
“You’d think the internet would ruin this immediately, but MnDOT runs this contest like a high-end HOA. They get up to 24,000 submissions a year, and they filter them harder than I filter the draft lines.
- The Rules: 30 characters max. No politics (so no ‘Senator Snow’). No profanity (keep it PG, people).
- The Goal: It’s actually about safety. If you see a truck named Betty Whiteout, you’re more likely to give it space than if it’s just ‘Truck #402.’ It humanizes the 1,600 drivers working 12-hour shifts in whiteout conditions.”
3. The Hall of Fame: A Cultural Timeline
“Looking at the winners is like looking at a time capsule of what Minnesotans were obsessed with that year.
- The ‘Standard’ Minnesota: Ope, Just Gonna Plow Right Past Ya (District 4). That is the most passive-aggressive, polite, accurate name in history.
- The Tributes: We lost Betty White? Boom, Betty Whiteout wins. Prince passed? The Truck Formerly Known As Plow.
- The Pop Culture: When the ‘Eras Tour’ hit, Taylor Drift swept the vote. When Lizzo was big, we got Blizzo.
- The Local Flex: Blader Tot Hotdish. I mean, come on. That’s delicious.”
4. The Ones That Got Away (My Personal Favorites)
“The report lists a ‘Graveyard’ of finalists that didn’t win, and honestly, it’s a tragedy.
- Aaron Brrrr, Sir (Hamilton fans, where were you?)
- Snow Country for Old Men
- 867-530 Brine These are absolute gold, but they lost out to the heavy hitters like Anthony Sledwards.”
5. The Serious Side (Because I’m a Professional)
“It’s not all jokes. They’ve also done some really cool work with the Tribal Nations to name plows in Dakota and Ojibwe, like Waipahinte (Snowplow) and Giiwedin (The North Wind). It’s a solid nod to the land these roads actually cross.
The Takeaway: This program works because it’s exactly who we are: cold, slightly weird, fiercely local, and obsessed with weather.
Anyway, that’s the report. If you need someone to help you find a house with a garage big enough to fit a Plowasaurus Rex, let me know. Otherwise, let me get you a refill.”